Monday, May 2, 2011

High school sweethearts

Reading a tweet from the wonderful Rae today, I was struck again by a stereotype I've encountered again and again....

"Marrying your high school sweetheart is the stupidest thing you could possibly do."

We see it again and again in movies and songs, in people's reactions and commentary. And I see it every time I tell someone how my husband and I met. That's right, Einstein and I were (are?) high school sweethearts.

Why is this considered a bad thing???? I mean, really. I heard (and still hear) things like:

1) You are/were too young to know what you wanted.

Um, okay. Trust me, I knew what I wanted! Here's the thing: if we were too young, we were BOTH too young. And we've grown up together. And because of that, we've grown together, not apart- I always say I fell in love with a boy, and have just kept on falling in love. Why? Because I (we!) work to do that. We aren't the same people we were when we fell in love (more than 10 years ago), thank you, God. I'm actually pretty sure there isn't a magical age where people stop acting like idiots; I'm just glad I found an idiot who has gotten smarter along with me.

2) You can't experience the world with a boy tying you down.

Maybe if you are a codependent person in a relationship with a homebody. Both of us traveled, had separate friends, lived hundreds (sometimes thousands) of miles apart. It wasn't easy. It wasn't always roses and chocolates. But I have experienced more of the world than I would have had the courage to do without him by my side (either physically or mentally).

3) How can you possibly make a decision like that after dating only one guy?

Because I firmly believe that marriage is AT LEAST half determination and commitment. I'm lucky enough that so far the other 50% has been being crazy in love. But I'm pretty sure the determination and commitment will see us through even when the crazy in love dwindles to 5-10%. Also, he is a pretty great guy. Everyone has flaws. Waiting for Prince Charming wouldn't have worked for me; I'm a perfectionist- I would never, ever have found him.

Okay. I could rant a lot more on this one, but I have to go to work in the morning. That's all I've got.