I listen to country music.
Mostly because I switch back and forth between VH1 and CMT at the gym in the morning so I never have to watch a commercial, but that is a little beside the point.
The point is that there is a song by Trace Adkins that talks about how you can spend your whole life wishing away your present, thinking about the future. The chorus, for those who don't listen to country, goes:
"You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times, so take a good look around...you may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this."
The song has gotten me thinking a lot lately about how much time I spend thinking about the future, wishing that things were "different"...and listening to others I think it is especially common among milspouses to wish away the present selectively. For instance, no one sincerely believes that deployments and remote tours should be enjoyed and savored. And yet, at the same time, there are always things happening that we are going to miss. When I think about the years that Einstein and I spent apart, I remember how much it sucked. Believe me, I do. But I also remember awesome friends, learning to live on my own, being independent and impulsive and having sushi for dinner (Einstein hates it).
Which brings me to now. If I had a dollar for every time that some well meaning (military pilot spouse) soul has said "Pilot training is awful! My husband never even had time to hug me!" or "I don't know why you are even moving there with him, you'll never see him!" or "Just get through it, thirteen months and then its over!" I could buy myself a really nice dinner. With as much sushi as I could eat.
It's not fun. I mean, I look at friends who's significant others come home from work at the same time they do and they cuddle and cook together and go for walks, blahblahblah, and it makes me sad, because Einstein comes home, refuses to hug me (more on that story later!), studies and goes to bed. But seriously. Some of the women I spend time with every day think it is going to get better after pilot training. Reality check! It's not. First squadrons, deployments, TDY's, etc etc etc. Which while depressing, begs the question: why aren't we all looking for the things that we enjoy about where we are right now? I'm not talking about being Polly Perky, I'm talking about having good days and bad days and trying to look at the glass half full, not half empty.
So, since Einstein won't be home tonight...SUSHI!!!