Sunday, June 20, 2010

How much do you share at work?

A friend recently shared with me that her coworkers had been horrified to find out (through a conversation with another spouse who happened to run into her while out at lunch with said coworkers) that her husband was deployed.

She hadn't said a word. Around here, where deployments are short but grindingly frequent, people rarely do. It's certainly not something I would share with my coworkers, much as I like them. Living in another community, with a long commute to work, makes it a little easier for me to separate the two "parts" of my life, so I don't worry too much about my coworkers "finding out" by my friend's dilemma made me think...

Were her coworkers justified in their hurt? Should she have confided in them? Would my coworkers be upset in a similar circumstance? Should I at least be telling my boss, or someone at work? For safety reasons, if nothing else?

It also made me think about what I call military voyeurism, for lack of a better term. I don't want sympathy, special treatment or sighs. In this community, there is plenty of support from other spouses, etc- my friend didn't need support, and definitely didn't want to deal with sighing, clucking or questions she can't answer, so she didn't say anything to her coworkers. Now she has two coworkers who are angry at her (I have been trying to figure out their logic, but not having a middle school mentality is hurting me on this one!).

I'm not planning to change my own plans and methods, but the situation did make me think.


CyberMac said...

I think people should respect each other's privacy as well as the parameters we all set socially. The co-workers should not be hurt.

The Mrs. said...

its her business to share or not share. I generally think that unless you have been in or will be in a persons situation you don't always know why they do what they do. So unless their husbands deploy they can't really say much. And even then its her choice.

wow... that was a big ol circular logic kinda comment.