Or I could allude to it in the title and then post about something else entirely!!
Two things, tonight!
One: It cracks me up how many ways the military is like middle school. This might just be pilot training, with its over abundance of barely out of college, testosterone laden heavy drinking idiots. Not that a lot of people drank in my middle school. It grew up in the sticks, but we weren't that weird!
At any rate, the gossip around here astounds me! It is so crazy. He said, she said, then this, then that. I don't believe anything I hear about anyone anymore. In fact, I don't even believe my own husband when he tells me something. I always ask for his source, and how they supposedly know what they "know". Even then, I don't really trust it.
Two: I love knowing how to make Google divulge more than it would with a simple keyword search. For all of you who love all things library related (or just want to find what you're looking for), check out this link:
http://faculty.valencia.cc.fl.us/infolit/Google/help.htm
Some of it is a little arcane, but wow. I used this a billion times today. Literally.
OOooooh, and 3, even though I only said 2 things!
Three: My husband looks awfully good in a flight suit. That is all.
Showing posts with label pilot training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pilot training. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Pilot Training, Part IV
Drinking.
The number one thing I wish I'd had a heads up on ahead of time.
The college I attended for my undergrad was fraternity/sorority free, but there was still PLENTY of booze. Trust me. My friends and I drank. A lot. I'd seen keg stands, power hours and just about every other bit of asinine drinking tomfoolery standard to the American college experience.
Then I went out, got a job (I did grad school while working, the beauty of mostly online classes!) and found out that, as I'd often suspected, people in the real world didn't start off the evening by doing shots. Since I had never been a huge fan of the binge drinking I'd encountered in college, it was easy to adjust my expectations to a glass of wine with dinner and cocktails on Friday nights.
Einstein was not a drinker. While he would occasionally drink a beer or have a rum and coke with something, he found my fondness for vodka tonics strange to say the least. (Although my love of peppermint schnapps was easier to understand, apparently!) So when we married, I assumed my life would continue on much as it had in my new grown-up world, with the occasional glass of wine, and a bottle of rum lasting months while gathering dust in my cupboard.
And then we arrived at pilot training.
I will spare you the urban legends about various forms of liquor, bar rules and other idiocy I've encountered. Suffice it to say, I have now attended "mandatory fun" parties where people did shots until everyone was absolutely falling down drunk. No event is complete- or even started- without liquor. And I don't just mean a bbq with some cold brewskies. I mean out and out, frat boy, "Animal House" style, shots until you puke drinking.
**Quick note: I have NEVER seen anyone FORCED to drink. I know a lot of people who are non-drinkers are often worried that they will be forced to drink. On the contrary, the people I know who do not drink (mostly for religious reasons) are never given guff about not drinking. They are often in the unenviable position of being sober around a bunch of drunk people, but that's another story...
So yeah. I was surprised, to say the least. I wish I had known ahead of time, not so much because I am anti-drinking, but because it is so central to the culture. It was a huge shock the first time I walked into an Assignment Night and saw the hordes of drunks in flight suits. Also, I should have included WAY more money in our budget for liquor, especially since there are a number of flights in the syllabus where it is customary to buy your Instructor Pilot a bottle of their favorite liquor.
Oooh, and there is definitely a wife=DD frame of mind. I cannot tell you the number of Fridays I have driven back on base with a car full of drunk LTs. The gate guards are usually hugely sympathetic when I fork over a handful of LT ID's with my dependent one. I even get the occasional "good luck Ma'am" when they are being especially rowdy. And Einstein's class is considered to be tame and practically anti-partying, compared to the norm!
But yeah. I now negotiate nights off of DDing, because hey, I'm planning (at some point) to give up drinking entirely for pregnancy and breastfeeding, so I figure I deserve a few nights off of DD duty now!
The number one thing I wish I'd had a heads up on ahead of time.
The college I attended for my undergrad was fraternity/sorority free, but there was still PLENTY of booze. Trust me. My friends and I drank. A lot. I'd seen keg stands, power hours and just about every other bit of asinine drinking tomfoolery standard to the American college experience.
Then I went out, got a job (I did grad school while working, the beauty of mostly online classes!) and found out that, as I'd often suspected, people in the real world didn't start off the evening by doing shots. Since I had never been a huge fan of the binge drinking I'd encountered in college, it was easy to adjust my expectations to a glass of wine with dinner and cocktails on Friday nights.
Einstein was not a drinker. While he would occasionally drink a beer or have a rum and coke with something, he found my fondness for vodka tonics strange to say the least. (Although my love of peppermint schnapps was easier to understand, apparently!) So when we married, I assumed my life would continue on much as it had in my new grown-up world, with the occasional glass of wine, and a bottle of rum lasting months while gathering dust in my cupboard.
And then we arrived at pilot training.
I will spare you the urban legends about various forms of liquor, bar rules and other idiocy I've encountered. Suffice it to say, I have now attended "mandatory fun" parties where people did shots until everyone was absolutely falling down drunk. No event is complete- or even started- without liquor. And I don't just mean a bbq with some cold brewskies. I mean out and out, frat boy, "Animal House" style, shots until you puke drinking.
**Quick note: I have NEVER seen anyone FORCED to drink. I know a lot of people who are non-drinkers are often worried that they will be forced to drink. On the contrary, the people I know who do not drink (mostly for religious reasons) are never given guff about not drinking. They are often in the unenviable position of being sober around a bunch of drunk people, but that's another story...
So yeah. I was surprised, to say the least. I wish I had known ahead of time, not so much because I am anti-drinking, but because it is so central to the culture. It was a huge shock the first time I walked into an Assignment Night and saw the hordes of drunks in flight suits. Also, I should have included WAY more money in our budget for liquor, especially since there are a number of flights in the syllabus where it is customary to buy your Instructor Pilot a bottle of their favorite liquor.
Oooh, and there is definitely a wife=DD frame of mind. I cannot tell you the number of Fridays I have driven back on base with a car full of drunk LTs. The gate guards are usually hugely sympathetic when I fork over a handful of LT ID's with my dependent one. I even get the occasional "good luck Ma'am" when they are being especially rowdy. And Einstein's class is considered to be tame and practically anti-partying, compared to the norm!
But yeah. I now negotiate nights off of DDing, because hey, I'm planning (at some point) to give up drinking entirely for pregnancy and breastfeeding, so I figure I deserve a few nights off of DD duty now!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Pilot Training, Part III
As I've mentioned before, I got a ton of unasked for advice about how busy Einstein would be, how much my life would suck, etc.
Before I move on to the subject of today's post, I am going to go ahead and say, yes, Einstein is busy. Yes, some nights (like tonight) I come home and make dinner and know that he won't eat it with me. Boo hoo. I don't think pilot training is anyone's ideal of newlywed life, but it is not horrible. He gets weekends off, even if he does spend most of the weekend studying. We live amongst a super close community of people our age all dealing with the same issues. Also, the noise of jets overhead is just plain (plane?? haha pun!) cool. But yes. The rumors are true. Expect that of the 13 months of training, your spouse will spend at least 6 of them (if not more) working full 12 hour days, and studying most of the other 12 per day. Accept the long hours, see "Pilot Training, Post II", stock up on Lean Cuisines, and move on.
Now, on to address what I consider to be the most difficult part of pilot training. The emotional work. And I do mean work. Pilot training is mentally and physically exhausting, but the emotional exhaustion that the students struggle with is harder. The always hanging overhead knowledge that you are in direct competition with the other students in your class. The "tough love" or really, just tough, teaching methods of some of the Instructor Pilots. The fact that the pace never lets up- there is always something coming up that must be studied for and prepared. I thought that Einstein had the market cornered on mental (and emotional) toughness. I still think he does, in comparison to some of the dudes we know here.
BUT. It is so hard to find the emotional reserves to be his supporter and cheerleader. Especially on days like today, when I would like a little attention myself. It is hard to maintain the "Hey, you can do it!" attitude when you know that your location and lifestyle depend on how well he does in training. His frustration, mostly with himself, can be hard to deal with. The pressure is intense, and emotions run high.
So that is what I struggle with the most: keeping my own emotions on an even keel and helping him deal with the ups and downs of UPT. I've come to accept the highs and lows, and mostly just focus on reminding him how much I love him and how much faith I have in him.
Before I move on to the subject of today's post, I am going to go ahead and say, yes, Einstein is busy. Yes, some nights (like tonight) I come home and make dinner and know that he won't eat it with me. Boo hoo. I don't think pilot training is anyone's ideal of newlywed life, but it is not horrible. He gets weekends off, even if he does spend most of the weekend studying. We live amongst a super close community of people our age all dealing with the same issues. Also, the noise of jets overhead is just plain (plane?? haha pun!) cool. But yes. The rumors are true. Expect that of the 13 months of training, your spouse will spend at least 6 of them (if not more) working full 12 hour days, and studying most of the other 12 per day. Accept the long hours, see "Pilot Training, Post II", stock up on Lean Cuisines, and move on.
Now, on to address what I consider to be the most difficult part of pilot training. The emotional work. And I do mean work. Pilot training is mentally and physically exhausting, but the emotional exhaustion that the students struggle with is harder. The always hanging overhead knowledge that you are in direct competition with the other students in your class. The "tough love" or really, just tough, teaching methods of some of the Instructor Pilots. The fact that the pace never lets up- there is always something coming up that must be studied for and prepared. I thought that Einstein had the market cornered on mental (and emotional) toughness. I still think he does, in comparison to some of the dudes we know here.
BUT. It is so hard to find the emotional reserves to be his supporter and cheerleader. Especially on days like today, when I would like a little attention myself. It is hard to maintain the "Hey, you can do it!" attitude when you know that your location and lifestyle depend on how well he does in training. His frustration, mostly with himself, can be hard to deal with. The pressure is intense, and emotions run high.
So that is what I struggle with the most: keeping my own emotions on an even keel and helping him deal with the ups and downs of UPT. I've come to accept the highs and lows, and mostly just focus on reminding him how much I love him and how much faith I have in him.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Pilot Training, Part II
The best advice I have for coping with pilot training:
Find a job/hobby/volunteer gig/start a home business.
Doesn't matter what you do, but you need your own thing. Maybe it is because so many of the spouses are newly married and just out of undergrad, but that seems to be a hard one for people to follow. People are also hesitant to look for jobs because they will be moving soon (keep in mind, UPT is thirteen months long, so you'll most likely be there at LEAST that long! And don't get me started on how the pipeline is backed up right now coming out of UPT).
Don't get me wrong. I understand that the cities where UPT bases are located are not exactly metropolises (also, why is it metropolises? shouldn't it be metropoli? I digress...) but if you can't find a job in your field, you can find something that will at least engage your brain and give you something to look forward to while your spouse is gone 12 hrs a day and studying another 6 on top of that.
I have a full time job. This keeps me more than occupied. But if a full time job is not your style (for whatever reason) or just not in the cards, here are some other things I've seen people do successfully:
-Start a business (Mary Kay/whatever or something of your making)
-Volunteer (on base or off)
-Offer to run spouse groups
-Train for a triathlon (seriously, the girl I know who does this is SO BUFF)
-Take a class- online courses are your friend! There are so many legit schools with awesome programs, look around!
-Take a class- community ed! check out you local library! Cooking, languages, ballet for adults oh my!
-Part time/substitute gig
-Write (and publish!) a book
-Work on reading through the literary canon (The woman who does this is so cool, she is always reading something totally awesome and looking to talk about it).
I'm not saying you have to go overboard. But find something that is just yours, even if it is only a couple hours a week and then OWN it. Be excited about it, talk about it, enjoy it, make your spouse learn at least something about it. You'll be a lot happier, trust me. All the people I've met who are happy and dealing well with the stress of a spouse in UPT have something of their own that keeps them occupied. I hate to be all "just think positive" but seriously, find something that at least adds to your happiness and then focus on that.
**Disclaimer: I have no children. My advice is for people who also have no kids. If you have kids and your spouse is in UPT, you are a better soul than I. But from observation I can tell you that it is very doable whether you work outside the home or not. I know lots of ladies who manage it with style and grace.
Find a job/hobby/volunteer gig/start a home business.
Doesn't matter what you do, but you need your own thing. Maybe it is because so many of the spouses are newly married and just out of undergrad, but that seems to be a hard one for people to follow. People are also hesitant to look for jobs because they will be moving soon (keep in mind, UPT is thirteen months long, so you'll most likely be there at LEAST that long! And don't get me started on how the pipeline is backed up right now coming out of UPT).
Don't get me wrong. I understand that the cities where UPT bases are located are not exactly metropolises (also, why is it metropolises? shouldn't it be metropoli? I digress...) but if you can't find a job in your field, you can find something that will at least engage your brain and give you something to look forward to while your spouse is gone 12 hrs a day and studying another 6 on top of that.
I have a full time job. This keeps me more than occupied. But if a full time job is not your style (for whatever reason) or just not in the cards, here are some other things I've seen people do successfully:
-Start a business (Mary Kay/whatever or something of your making)
-Volunteer (on base or off)
-Offer to run spouse groups
-Train for a triathlon (seriously, the girl I know who does this is SO BUFF)
-Take a class- online courses are your friend! There are so many legit schools with awesome programs, look around!
-Take a class- community ed! check out you local library! Cooking, languages, ballet for adults oh my!
-Part time/substitute gig
-Write (and publish!) a book
-Work on reading through the literary canon (The woman who does this is so cool, she is always reading something totally awesome and looking to talk about it).
I'm not saying you have to go overboard. But find something that is just yours, even if it is only a couple hours a week and then OWN it. Be excited about it, talk about it, enjoy it, make your spouse learn at least something about it. You'll be a lot happier, trust me. All the people I've met who are happy and dealing well with the stress of a spouse in UPT have something of their own that keeps them occupied. I hate to be all "just think positive" but seriously, find something that at least adds to your happiness and then focus on that.
**Disclaimer: I have no children. My advice is for people who also have no kids. If you have kids and your spouse is in UPT, you are a better soul than I. But from observation I can tell you that it is very doable whether you work outside the home or not. I know lots of ladies who manage it with style and grace.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Pilot Training, Part I
Before Einstein and I married, we knew he was headed to pilot training. Air Force UPT (Undergraduate Pilot Training) is 13 months of twelve hour duty days, endless studying and emotional exhaustion.
In other words, it is like most military training.
Amongst my Air Force friends (and I had a lot, even without that fancy brown card!) UPT had gathered a mystique. Whether or not their husbands were pilots, my friends gleefully gave me a metric ton of unasked for advice:
"Don't plan on talking to him for a year!"
"My husband was too busy to hug me. It was the worst year of my life, and of our marriage."
"You shouldn't even bother moving there. It's not like you will see him anyway."
The last bit of advice was one that I heard from numerous sources. Obviously, I didn't follow it. Looking back now, at roughly the halfway point (almost!!) I have to say that it was hands down the worst piece of advice that I was given. I'm going to try to write a little series on pilot training, with my advice for those wives/girlfriends/fiancees who are headed into those dreaded 13 months. I hope that my advice is more reassuring than any of the advice I received.
I'm planning to concentrate on different aspects and problems we've faced. I have a feeling most of it will be applicable across the military, not just to AF pilots. I will probably end up repeating things that most of my reader's already know. But maybe it will be handy for that scared, research and internet dependent woman like me, who was hoping for some ray of sunshine and practical advice in the sea of negativity.
In other words, it is like most military training.
Amongst my Air Force friends (and I had a lot, even without that fancy brown card!) UPT had gathered a mystique. Whether or not their husbands were pilots, my friends gleefully gave me a metric ton of unasked for advice:
"Don't plan on talking to him for a year!"
"My husband was too busy to hug me. It was the worst year of my life, and of our marriage."
"You shouldn't even bother moving there. It's not like you will see him anyway."
The last bit of advice was one that I heard from numerous sources. Obviously, I didn't follow it. Looking back now, at roughly the halfway point (almost!!) I have to say that it was hands down the worst piece of advice that I was given. I'm going to try to write a little series on pilot training, with my advice for those wives/girlfriends/fiancees who are headed into those dreaded 13 months. I hope that my advice is more reassuring than any of the advice I received.
I'm planning to concentrate on different aspects and problems we've faced. I have a feeling most of it will be applicable across the military, not just to AF pilots. I will probably end up repeating things that most of my reader's already know. But maybe it will be handy for that scared, research and internet dependent woman like me, who was hoping for some ray of sunshine and practical advice in the sea of negativity.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
So, can we talk about something besides flying now?
After spending the ENTIRE weekend as the only civilian with a bunch of military pilots-in-training, I can safely say that I really would rather not talk about anything flying related for, oh, hmmm, well, you know, at LEAST a month.
The chances of this are slim to none.
Don't get me wrong. Einstein has wanted to be a pilot as long as I've known him (really, since he was five and went on his first helicopter flight). And he loves flying so much. And I love him so much. He spent years thinking his dream of flying in the military was impossible, and then it was a long process of maybes, and "if this works out" and now he is finally doing what he has always wanted to do and I don't begrudge him a second of it.
I'm only saying that it might be nice to talk about other topics, from time to time. We don't even have to talk about books or libraries or anything like that. We could talk about how Spain defeated Germany today in the EuroCup (hooray!). We could talk about cooking. Or the rising price of gas...but that would lead to talk of jet fuel...
I know lots of families that don't discuss religion or politics at the dinner table. I'm thinking maybe no flying at the dinner table? Just for a few days?
The chances of this are slim to none.
Don't get me wrong. Einstein has wanted to be a pilot as long as I've known him (really, since he was five and went on his first helicopter flight). And he loves flying so much. And I love him so much. He spent years thinking his dream of flying in the military was impossible, and then it was a long process of maybes, and "if this works out" and now he is finally doing what he has always wanted to do and I don't begrudge him a second of it.
I'm only saying that it might be nice to talk about other topics, from time to time. We don't even have to talk about books or libraries or anything like that. We could talk about how Spain defeated Germany today in the EuroCup (hooray!). We could talk about cooking. Or the rising price of gas...but that would lead to talk of jet fuel...
I know lots of families that don't discuss religion or politics at the dinner table. I'm thinking maybe no flying at the dinner table? Just for a few days?
Friday, April 4, 2008
You're gonna miss this...
I listen to country music.
Mostly because I switch back and forth between VH1 and CMT at the gym in the morning so I never have to watch a commercial, but that is a little beside the point.
The point is that there is a song by Trace Adkins that talks about how you can spend your whole life wishing away your present, thinking about the future. The chorus, for those who don't listen to country, goes:
"You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times, so take a good look around...you may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this."
The song has gotten me thinking a lot lately about how much time I spend thinking about the future, wishing that things were "different"...and listening to others I think it is especially common among milspouses to wish away the present selectively. For instance, no one sincerely believes that deployments and remote tours should be enjoyed and savored. And yet, at the same time, there are always things happening that we are going to miss. When I think about the years that Einstein and I spent apart, I remember how much it sucked. Believe me, I do. But I also remember awesome friends, learning to live on my own, being independent and impulsive and having sushi for dinner (Einstein hates it).
Which brings me to now. If I had a dollar for every time that some well meaning (military pilot spouse) soul has said "Pilot training is awful! My husband never even had time to hug me!" or "I don't know why you are even moving there with him, you'll never see him!" or "Just get through it, thirteen months and then its over!" I could buy myself a really nice dinner. With as much sushi as I could eat.
It's not fun. I mean, I look at friends who's significant others come home from work at the same time they do and they cuddle and cook together and go for walks, blahblahblah, and it makes me sad, because Einstein comes home, refuses to hug me (more on that story later!), studies and goes to bed. But seriously. Some of the women I spend time with every day think it is going to get better after pilot training. Reality check! It's not. First squadrons, deployments, TDY's, etc etc etc. Which while depressing, begs the question: why aren't we all looking for the things that we enjoy about where we are right now? I'm not talking about being Polly Perky, I'm talking about having good days and bad days and trying to look at the glass half full, not half empty.
So, since Einstein won't be home tonight...SUSHI!!!
Mostly because I switch back and forth between VH1 and CMT at the gym in the morning so I never have to watch a commercial, but that is a little beside the point.
The point is that there is a song by Trace Adkins that talks about how you can spend your whole life wishing away your present, thinking about the future. The chorus, for those who don't listen to country, goes:
"You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times, so take a good look around...you may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this."
The song has gotten me thinking a lot lately about how much time I spend thinking about the future, wishing that things were "different"...and listening to others I think it is especially common among milspouses to wish away the present selectively. For instance, no one sincerely believes that deployments and remote tours should be enjoyed and savored. And yet, at the same time, there are always things happening that we are going to miss. When I think about the years that Einstein and I spent apart, I remember how much it sucked. Believe me, I do. But I also remember awesome friends, learning to live on my own, being independent and impulsive and having sushi for dinner (Einstein hates it).
Which brings me to now. If I had a dollar for every time that some well meaning (military pilot spouse) soul has said "Pilot training is awful! My husband never even had time to hug me!" or "I don't know why you are even moving there with him, you'll never see him!" or "Just get through it, thirteen months and then its over!" I could buy myself a really nice dinner. With as much sushi as I could eat.
It's not fun. I mean, I look at friends who's significant others come home from work at the same time they do and they cuddle and cook together and go for walks, blahblahblah, and it makes me sad, because Einstein comes home, refuses to hug me (more on that story later!), studies and goes to bed. But seriously. Some of the women I spend time with every day think it is going to get better after pilot training. Reality check! It's not. First squadrons, deployments, TDY's, etc etc etc. Which while depressing, begs the question: why aren't we all looking for the things that we enjoy about where we are right now? I'm not talking about being Polly Perky, I'm talking about having good days and bad days and trying to look at the glass half full, not half empty.
So, since Einstein won't be home tonight...SUSHI!!!
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