The other side of the fence

Okay, it is time to come clean.

I'm that girl. The one who volunteers for everything. Who never met a raffle ticket or bake sale that she wouldn't volunteer for. The one who made meals whenever she was called, put her name on the list to organize, volunteered to organize and decorate for events...and felt superior to everyone else because of it.

Or I should say, I used to be that girl.

New base + new squadron + new job = I've become the girl** I used to disdain- the one who says "Look, I'm busy! And what has the squadron done for me?" I used to hate that attitude of entitlement; I had a hard time with people who just showed up to social things, and never put their name down to volunteer. If you wanted something from the squadron, you should give back to it!

But seriously, I can't. I just can't. I've got obligations at work and in our parish and voluteering in the squadron is something that I want to do, but I just can't. And I hate that I used to judge people like me... and I'll be honest, I'm still sort of judging myself. I find myself hesitating to take advantage of squadron resources (or to show up to any events at all) because I haven't volunteered for a single thing, and I'm probably not going to any time soon.

** I would use the gender neutral term here, except I've never met a male spouse who was involved in the squadron spouses groups....lots of great male spouses who were supportive, awesome gentleman who go out of their way to help their friends, yes...but the people decorating for the kids Christmas Party are always women.

Variety is the spice of life

After pilot training ended and all of our friends scattered to the four winds, it has been interesting hearing how different life is in the different types of airframes. In the Air Force, each aircraft has its own quirks, but in general the lifestyle tends to be pretty similar for similar aircraft within a type (the "types" being heavies, fighters, bombers, special operations, and unmanned aerial systems).

I'm lucky to have friends in lots of different airframes (airframes is the Air Force's fancy way of saying airplanes), so I get to hear about a lot of different things. It is amazing how different the cultures are. At Einstein's pilot training base, pilots and the flying community were presented as a monolithic institution, but nothing could be further from the truth!

The differences aren't just in deployment length and frequency, either. The amount of institutionalized drinking, the types of mandatory fun, the atmosphere of the spouses groups- its all different. I love hearing stories about super formal spouses meetings at other bases (mostly because I don't have to attend them). I am glad that my husband doesn't have a roll call every single Friday night. I am envious of the exuberant, friendly welcomes that some of my friends have received from their spouses groups.

And mostly, I'm thankful for the chance to see how the rest of the Air Force lives. :-D

Things I wish that they covered at spouse orientations

Before I begin this post, I want to clarify: I am extremely thankful that our new base has an orientation especially for spouses. I learned a lot, and it was definitely a valuable use of my time.

That said, here are the top 5 things I wish they covered at spouse orientations! (In reverse order, ala Letterman)

5) Telling us all about our key spouses and then not having the info to contact them was a little, ah, misleading. I want an email address, at least!

4) Which local grocery store has the best produce? I know its not the commissary! (The commissary here ROCKS- awesome 'deli, etc, but the produce, not so much).

3) How do you shut people up when they won't take no for an answer? You told my husband at his briefing that he should just say that he "works for the Air Force" and leave it at that...but my crazy uncle, friends from college and others are really bothersome with their "but what does he DO? where does he GO?" questions. The good old "it's classified" response goes over like a lead balloon. I'm obviously not going to tell them what he really does (since, quite frankly, I don't know) but it would be nice if you could teach me some stock responses to give them that would make them cease their endless questioning.

2) Where are the best places to eat? I am in desperate need of a good Mexican restaurant.

And finally:

1) Where should I go to get my hair done? Seriously, people. I scheduled my last trim and color for two days before the movers came, and my roots are, well...not pretty.

The Holidays...and other ramblings

Is it just me, or does mandatory fun seem to increase exponentially the closer we get to Christmas??

If I have to go to one more tea, coffee, lunch, brunch, reception, party, event or bbq (or plan one more!!!) I may scream. It probably just seems worse because not only are there are the various levels of parties to attend for Einstein, but my own obligations are in full swing.

Frankly, I loathe holiday parties. I know, Scrooge-y of me, but I don't care. I love Christmas, but I like staying at home, baking, decorating, etc. I hate buying useless white elephant gifts. It seems so...wasteful.

Why yes, I am that person who opts out of the secret santa/office gift exchange/whatever and makes everyone else feel gluttonous by suggesting we donate to charity instead. Sorry.

I like entertaining...but paying $$ for tickets to the squadron holiday party...not so much. I like going to people's houses for dinners, chill hanging out, etc...but not forced festivity. So sue me.

I swear, my real name is not Ebeneezer!

Thanks for the comments on the last post; I'm feeling much better about it. Mostly because I looked at pay scales for other parts of the country and remembered just how far below average the pay is here, haha. :-D

In happier holiday news, Einstein and I have all of our Advent provisions (ie, wreath and calendar) laid in. I am planning to make Chex mix and put up the tree next weekend (after my second favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, yay!!). Also, I finally managed to order my lefse (Norwegian food, can't have a holiday without it!) and it should be arriving pre-Thanksgiving.

Ooooh! An out-take from my day today!

The setting: Having lunch midday at a (library) conference, sitting with coworker: I peer into my boxed lunch (which was sadly inadequate, btw).

Me: Hmmm...salad, chips, fork...*roots around* WHERE IS THE COOKIE??
Coworker: What? You don't have a cookie?? Wait, *I* don't have a cookie, EITHER!
Me (looking around at other's lunches with a growing sense of foreboding): I don't think anyone has a cookie.
Coworker: No way. Did they not realize this was a library conference??
Me: There had better be cookies during the afternoon breakout, or I am pulling ALA membership cards and taking names.

Thankfully, we emerged at the middle of the afternoon session to find trays of brownies and cookies. It was close, though. Because no way would my boss have given me my professional development credits for a conference without cookies. They are mandatory at any event involving librarians.

Babies and spouses groups

I love babies. I'm really looking forward to the day when Einstein and I decide it is time to have babies. Unfortunately, that day is not coming anytime soon.

Luckily, Einstein is in the Air Force. Babies, babies everywhere!!! I've decided that the thing I like the most about the spouse's group is that it gives me a non-creepy (or at least less creepy) way of approaching mother's of young children and saying "Do you want a mother's helper for your PCS/TDY/housecleaning? Someone to watch the munchkin(s) while you head to the commissary/hair salon/doctor's office/date with your hubby?"

Before I married into the AF, my only opportunity to ask this question was in church, and even then it came off slightly stalkerish. Now I have the spouses' group, and it is turning out better than I could have possibly guessed it would. I have a great way to make friends with some fantastic women, get my baby fix, and look like a really altruistic person, because, you know, I'm willing to hang out with their kids for free.