Memorial Day 2009

An excerpt from For The Fallen by Laurence Bunyon.

Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that shines upon our tears.

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.


Today I hope that all Americans will take the time to remember. I'm thankful that my parents raised me with a healthy respect for the solemnity of this holiday, and not just excitement at the three day weekend. I'm thankful to my grandfathers, for their service. And I'm thankful for the three friends closest to my heart today. You are remembered, and will never be forgotten.

Trying to tie up work projects

I thought I would be sooooo happy to be done with work...I am literally counting the days.

At the same time, I find that I'm really very attached to my various projects and responsibilities. The more I think about letting someone else take them over, the less I like the idea. Although I've done it before, its harder this time around. I think because I let myself get complacent, get attached.

I read a book this week that quoted some historical sources regarding military wives. It is amazing how much their letters match up with my contemporary emails. Finding a place to live, worrying about our husbands, in some ways it is still just like the 1800's. At the same time, I'm thankful for all of the advantages we have...

The Mrs. has a great giveaway going!

So I'm pretty sure y'all have already seen this, but The Mrs. is giving away an awesome, awesome Military Wives Cookbook at her site. Things I like about this: cooking, military wives, history and (bonus!) its a book! What more could you want??

Check it out!

Also, I would like to note that Einstein and I are in the midst of house hunting at his new duty station. We LOVE the area...lots to do, beautiful weather, great restaurants. And we've put in an offer (and a counteroffer and a counteroffer and a counteroffer) on a house that I am completely smitten with.

That said, looking at houses all day? Not my forte. I know why they call it house hunting: because by the end of the day, you want to shoot someone.

The PCS that ate my life

When Einstein and I moved here, we did a DITY move.

I made him swear to me that we would never, ever do one again as long as we lived.
(In case you're worried, we're not. He tried to talk me into it and I told him that he could use the money we made on the DITY to pay for a divorce lawyer. Like I said, NEVER AGAIN.)

I was so excited about this PCS. I had all of these dreams, filled with soft, muted light and sappy music, where the movers came, packed all of our stuff and we blissfully set off for our next adventure. Stress free. Full of happiness and joy. Everything easy, simple and care-free.

Just thinking about my naivete makes me want to laugh hysterically. Or maybe just have hysterics, screw the laughter.

Our last move, despite being a DITY move, had a TON of lead time. We have plenty of lead time for this one as well, but working right up until we move is stressing me out. Between trying to convince Einstein to rent, looking at houses, researching mortgage options, separating out the stuff we're packing with us, saying goodbye to friends, etc etc etc I feel like I am losing my mind.

Don't even get me started on job hunting. Once I have my feet under me again, I have a whole series of posts fleshed out on why librarian is the best milspouse job ever, milspouse jobs in general and other related topics. But I'm too busy trying to find a job to post it! I feel a little crazy...when we moved here, I allowed myself to wait until we were moved in to start looking, but this time around I feel like I need to find a job BEFORE we get there. Which is nearly impossible, honestly. Although I may die trying.

Preparing to PCS

I've been busy trying to get ready for the big move. In some ways this move is much simpler than our move here, but in other ways, it has been really complicated.

Simply put, we're buying a house.

At least, I think we are.

Maybe we're crazy. I don't want a house. Houses are expensive, they require mortgages (I am debt phobic), you are responsible for them, etc. I would much rather live in an apartment or rent a house. Really.

I'm also enough of a dyed in the wool rebel that the idea of buying a house because "everyone says we should! Look at the housing market!" makes me want to avoid home ownership like the plague.

I don't have a job there, yet. I don't know if I will be able to find a job there.

But Einstein really wants to buy a house. After weeks of listening to his arguments and viewing all of the pretty pictures our realtor (we have a REALTOR) has been sending us, I'm starting to go over to the dark side.

I mean, honestly. Einstein refuses to live on base (we all have our quirks). Rental houses there are ridiculously overpriced (compared to mortgages) and apartments are overpriced, small, and in undesirable areas.

Home ownership was on my mental list for "Things we will do when Einstein retires from the Air Force". I was not, am not, prepared for it right now. I know some of you rent and some of you own, and frankly, right now I am willing to hear ANY thoughts or advice you might have.

I'm not a fence-sitter by nature, but I am totally on the fence on this one!

lame lame lame

That's how I feel right now.

I miss Einstein. He's TDY. This wouldn't be so bad, but for two things:

1) Two of our most wonderful friends got married this weekend. Weddings make me sappy...especially now.

2) The upcoming assignment-of-deployements...I keep thinking: this is my life now. My very alone life.

Sigh.

Wow, I'm pathetic. I apologize in advance to those who have it worse than I. Any tips for coping with short (relatively), VERY frequent deployments? Anyone????

Uniform confusion

Einstein's brother is in the Army.

We're headed up to visit him, and while we are there, he'll be graduating from the training he is at right now. This has led to some confusion as to what uniform to wear. Since we rarely get a chance to talk with Einstein's brother, I asked his folks if the invitation they had received had a note about the uniform. They had no clue. Einstein finally got a chance to talk to his brother this weekend, and was told that the UOD was "greens".

Since there is no green Air Force uniform (except his flight suit, which I'm fairly sure is inappropriate for the ceremony we're attending) I set out on the internet to find out whether "greens" meant Einstein should wear his blue service dress or his mess dress.

The answer (which is what I assumed anyway) is service dress.

But in the process I discovered reason number 472 why I love the Air Force. When Einstein is trying to decipher the appropriate uniform for the occassion, here are his choices: mess dress, service dress, blues, ACU's/flight suit. That's it. The comparison chart I found is INSANE. Class A, B, C, D; green, blue, white, summer, winter, etc etc. How do you keep it straight? Do you have an entire other closet for all of those uniforms? I feel like the four we have to deal with (blues and service dress are basically the same) take over my closets as it is!

**Einstein is demanding that I include the fact that he wishes the AF would hurry up and do the uniform switch over they've been talking about for the past five years, because he thinks the current service dress makes them look like airline pilots. I think the "new" proposed service dress makes them look like they are going to take orders from Emperor Palpatine. If you want to see the proposed change, look here.

Are all of those different uniforms confusing? How often do people mess up and wear the wrong thing?

Since Einstein's brother is in the Army and his two best friends are in the Navy and the Marines...I saved this for future reference.

Is being a Mil-Spouse enough of a job?

We are getting ready to PCS.

This, of course, means that I have had to quit my job. Although I will be working right up until the PCS, I've already given notice. I have also started to look for jobs in our next location. Doing all of this has led me to think about several different things.

1) How do people cope when they know they will be working at a job for the "rest of their lives"? When I've had a bad day (or a bad week!) I often remind myself: this is only for here, for now! The next base will be different. New places, new chances. Maybe I'm crazy, but I like starting over every few years. It gives me a chance to try new things (being a Children's Librarian, instead of a Teen Librarian!) and meet new people, and I love it.

2) At the same time that I feel crazy for quitting a job in this economy, I know I don't have much of a choice. Einstein's new job is deployment intensive, but even if he is only home a few weeks a year, I want to be with him for those weeks. I am, however, pretty concerned that another professional position in my field will be a long time in coming.

3) Is being a mil-spouse enough of a job? Very few of my friends at this base work outside the home. They seem to enjoy their lives more. There have been weeks when Einstein and I have felt like two ships passing in the night, because our work schedules allowed us little time together. I would imagine that feeling can only be worse when he will be home so infrequently. So I find myself wondering: if I can't find a job (due to the economy or due to my own inclination not to take a non-library position), will it be enough just to be a mil-spouse? I look back at my old post about not enjoying the time I had as an "unemployed" person and think, yes! That's right! Remember how I said I would appreciate it more next time?? I should appreciate it!

Einstein and I were discussing the other evening regarding the fact that military spouses frequently pick up the slack. Whether it is his schedule or the social obligations (and I don't care what they say about the new enlightened Air Force, if a spouse volunteers for squadron stuff, it is noticed) there is plenty that needs to get done. It is hard enough right now to get things done with his schedule and mine...I can't imagine how impossible it will be when we have kids (not any time soon, with apologies to my mother and mother-in-law).

I do think it is enough of a job. In fact, I would argue that it is more than a full-time job, so anyone who does any work (at home or outside of it) besides just being a mil-spouse is doing double duty.

That said, I'm applying for everything I can find, because if he's only home a couple of weeks a year, I'm going to need something.

Valentine's Day

Einstein and I don't really...celebrate...Valentine's day. Our first February 14th as a couple, we ate at McDonald's. I had a gift for him, but he had forgotten that it was V-day...so after that, we just sort of forgot about it as a holiday. He does enough sweet stuff other days...although last year, he did bring me breakfast in bed!!! (I love breakfast in bed. It is my favorite thing EVER!)

Today, however, I got the sweetest Valentine ever!

One of my storytime regulars presented me with a Valentine (and Hershey's Kisses, yum!). It was ADORABLE, especially since she also had one for each of our "regular" puppets. I nearly died from the cuteness. Now my assistant and I just have to remember to give her a thank you from the puppets during the next puppet show.

How?

How do you decide between the assignment you don't want and the assignment you REALLY don't want? I mean, when there are a total of, say, seven possible assignments. And you don't really want any of them, because there are other assignments ranked "above" them, but NO ONE is getting those.

So how do you choose? How much input do you (the spouse) have? Do you base it on his happiness or your probability of getting a decent job?

Honestly, for all the difference it will probably make (since it is, technically, needs of the Air Force that decide it) we might as well rank it by the restaurants each possible station has. At least then I could have some decent food.

A public library without internet

Yesterday was "my" Saturday to work (the staff rotates, I usually only have to do it once a month or so). I got to work, logged in, started doing work, and then I noticed:

No internet. Unfortunately, the problem was NOT at our end, and thus we had to wait on our provider to fix the issue.

They promised to have it fixed on by Monday afternoon.

That means that we were without internet the ENTIRE DAY. While some people do in fact visit the library to check out books, the vast majority of our patrons come for one reason and one reason only: to access the internet. Most Saturdays we have anywhere from a half an hour to an hour wait for the computers all day. Since our main draw was down, I settled in for a long, quiet day.

Oh, how wrong I was! We were ridiculously busy all day. And not just busy telling people "No, the internet is down. No, it won't be back up today" although I said that plenty. You see, while some of the people who would normally come in just for the computers turned around and left, the majority (or so it seemed) actually checked out books! And asked questions not related to computers!

I also noticed another telling fact: normally on Saturdays, I am hoarse by about 2:30. This is from yelling things like "No running in the library! We walk in the library! No, please don't spin that! That chair is meant for sitting! Gentle, please! Please don't throw books!" over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over over and over and over and over.

You get the idea.

Yesterday, I didn't yell at a single child. Not once! Which is not to say that I didn't have kids running or tossing books; there were a few. But an interesting thing happened: their parents told them to stop. This doesn't normally happen because their parents are usually in the computer lab, looking at email/MySpace/whatever. Instead, they were with their kids, watching them, and, dare I say it, parenting.

Maybe I will try to convince my boss to get rid of the internet permanently...

JUST KIDDING. Not having internet sort of feels like having one of my limbs chopped off, and free internet access is a vital part of our service to the community. But still, not losing my voice was nice.

Really, really good friends

I know that people in the milspouse blogsphere talk a lot about how civilians don't get it. And sometimes, they just don't, like LAW's coworkers. I've blogged before about friends who don't understand the basics of military life and family members who are truly oblivious.

But there are some friends who, while they may not "get" it, are always willing to offer a listening ear. I have one friend, in particular, who is fantastic about this. She truly wants to understand what is going on in my life (and Einstein's). She asks intelligent questions, remembers acronyms (!!!!), and is always willing to lend a sympathetic ear.

I don't know what I would do without her.

Although she lives 1,000+ miles away right now, I've been relying on her a lot lately. I love my military friends, but it can be difficult to support each other when we are all dealing with the same frustrations. I feel petty complaining about my own apprehension over not knowing what Einstein will fly in the future and when and where we are moving next when all of my friends here are in the same boat.

I just spent 5 minutes trying to think of a way of expressing that thought without using the word "boat", since it sounds so Navy... ;)

So my far-away friend has been a godsend lately. I hope she knows how much I appreciate her sympathetic ear and understanding emails. They mean the world to me!

I hate waiting to find out what is coming next. It is driving me CRAZY. I'm a planner, and not being able to plan out the rest of this year is driving me up the wall. I guess I'd better get used to it, though, huh?

I could pretend it hasn't been nearly 2 months since I updated...

Or I could allude to it in the title and then post about something else entirely!!

Two things, tonight!

One: It cracks me up how many ways the military is like middle school. This might just be pilot training, with its over abundance of barely out of college, testosterone laden heavy drinking idiots. Not that a lot of people drank in my middle school. It grew up in the sticks, but we weren't that weird!

At any rate, the gossip around here astounds me! It is so crazy. He said, she said, then this, then that. I don't believe anything I hear about anyone anymore. In fact, I don't even believe my own husband when he tells me something. I always ask for his source, and how they supposedly know what they "know". Even then, I don't really trust it.

Two: I love knowing how to make Google divulge more than it would with a simple keyword search. For all of you who love all things library related (or just want to find what you're looking for), check out this link:

http://faculty.valencia.cc.fl.us/infolit/Google/help.htm

Some of it is a little arcane, but wow. I used this a billion times today. Literally.

OOooooh, and 3, even though I only said 2 things!

Three: My husband looks awfully good in a flight suit. That is all.

I don't understand

My mother has made a very strange request.

She wants a picture of Einstein and I for the family Christmas letter.

She wants a picture of Einstein and I where he ISN'T in uniform.

Uhm?

I'm trying to understand this request. It wouldn't be a problem, except for the unfortunate fact that other than pictures where he is in uniform, the only pictures we have of the past year are ones where either one of us (or both of us) is inebriated or where I look hideous. Truly awful.

So I told her I didn't have a photo of us that fit her requirements, and asked if I could just send her one with him in uniform.

She said no, she wanted one that was about "our" life and not "his" life.

WHAT? This IS my life. This is OUR life. The military is not some strange hobby of his; it is our life. Yes, I have my own career, my own hobbies. But seriously...I just don't get it.

My mom is not anti-military. She has never seemed to have a problem like this one in the past. I know she is frustrated because most of the pictures that I send are of him with planes, but honestly, that's what we take pictures of! Sorry! That and cheesy shots of my Christmas tree, but whatever.

I don't know if anyone has any insights; I'm not sure what to think.

The Holidays...and other ramblings

Is it just me, or does mandatory fun seem to increase exponentially the closer we get to Christmas??

If I have to go to one more tea, coffee, lunch, brunch, reception, party, event or bbq (or plan one more!!!) I may scream. It probably just seems worse because not only are there are the various levels of parties to attend for Einstein, but my own obligations are in full swing.

Frankly, I loathe holiday parties. I know, Scrooge-y of me, but I don't care. I love Christmas, but I like staying at home, baking, decorating, etc. I hate buying useless white elephant gifts. It seems so...wasteful.

Why yes, I am that person who opts out of the secret santa/office gift exchange/whatever and makes everyone else feel gluttonous by suggesting we donate to charity instead. Sorry.

I like entertaining...but paying $$ for tickets to the squadron holiday party...not so much. I like going to people's houses for dinners, chill hanging out, etc...but not forced festivity. So sue me.

I swear, my real name is not Ebeneezer!

Thanks for the comments on the last post; I'm feeling much better about it. Mostly because I looked at pay scales for other parts of the country and remembered just how far below average the pay is here, haha. :-D

In happier holiday news, Einstein and I have all of our Advent provisions (ie, wreath and calendar) laid in. I am planning to make Chex mix and put up the tree next weekend (after my second favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, yay!!). Also, I finally managed to order my lefse (Norwegian food, can't have a holiday without it!) and it should be arriving pre-Thanksgiving.

Ooooh! An out-take from my day today!

The setting: Having lunch midday at a (library) conference, sitting with coworker: I peer into my boxed lunch (which was sadly inadequate, btw).

Me: Hmmm...salad, chips, fork...*roots around* WHERE IS THE COOKIE??
Coworker: What? You don't have a cookie?? Wait, *I* don't have a cookie, EITHER!
Me (looking around at other's lunches with a growing sense of foreboding): I don't think anyone has a cookie.
Coworker: No way. Did they not realize this was a library conference??
Me: There had better be cookies during the afternoon breakout, or I am pulling ALA membership cards and taking names.

Thankfully, we emerged at the middle of the afternoon session to find trays of brownies and cookies. It was close, though. Because no way would my boss have given me my professional development credits for a conference without cookies. They are mandatory at any event involving librarians.

Somehow this time of year always manages to depress me...

And by this time of year, I mean the time of year when most public libraries give out stability pay/retention bonuses/whatever they want to call it. Basically, the longer you've worked there, the more money you get. It is also the time of year when I look over the pay charts for the next year and contemplate the simple fact that I will never work in one place long enough to make decent money.

The key to being well paid as a librarian is 1) find a job in a non-public library and then 2) work there until you die or retire, whichever comes first.

I have failed on both counts.

But even public libraries pay decently if you've worked there for a few years. Unfortunately, the likelihood that I will ever work anywhere for more than three years is decidedly small. I hate always having to start at the bottom. I hate not being considered for promotions or more responsibility because I'm going to be moving on in a few years, and my employers know it. I hate feeling underpaid (and undervalued).

In the end I'm doing work that I really love, and so is Einstein. It doesn't get much better than that, even though I'll never have the earning potential of my non-nomadic colleagues.

Best Patron Interaction EVER

Earlier this week an incredibly cute child came into the library looking for Curious George books. I am a huge fan of C. George; seriously, my love knows no bounds. So I was happy to show this little guy (four years old, I'm guessing) where "George" hangs out in the library.

He was ecstatic. He couldn't believe how many Curious George books we had. His dad patiently helped him select six of them, which he then walked over to the youth desk (one book at a time) to show me. I grabbed some of the Curious George stickers I had in my office to give to him; he gave three to his dad for safekeeping and carefully applied the fourth one to his shirt. Then he turned to me, and with true devotion on his face, said:

"You turned my shirt into a Curious George shirt. Thank you!"

Then, as they walked out the door, I overheard this conversation:

Dad: These librarians sure are nice, aren't they?

Little Boy: Yeah!

Dad: Do you like the library?

Little Boy: OH YES!

And that, my friends, is why I love my job.

An ode to the new fiscal year

Okay, I'm not actually sure about the poetic conventions of an ode, so I'm just going to write.

I LOVE THE NEW FISCAL YEAR.

New budget. New money. Vendors (book vendors, mostly) wining and dining me, trying to get their hands on some of that glorious new-fiscal-year largesse. Librarians don't get wined and dined much. We mostly get free pens. Sometimes a note pad. OH! And free stickers (sometimes scratch-and-sniffs!) when you order a certain amount of stuff from Upstart. But the new fiscal year brings the vultures (I mean, book vendors) running.

And it is GLORIOUS.

I mean, a couple of free lunches is not really that big of a deal. I used to work for a huge district, where we regularly got comped for meals, etc. But its been awhile. Also, when vendors pay for lunch, I don't have to worry about turning in receipts. So yeah.

Most importantly, though, vendors bring me books. So what happens when a vendor visits, other than the fact that they take me to lunch? Well, they usually bring PILES AND PILES (literally) of books. I spend all morning (sometimes all day) going through their books, picking the ones I like. I give them back to the vendor in yes and no piles. And then, magically, a week later, I receive boxes of books. And C comes to me and says "Nomad! You have books! Piles of them!" And I am happy.

Also, the vendors who don't come in person will just SEND you the books. You sort through them, and then ship back what you don't want, which is actually a lot of fun.

Let's be honest here. I like shopping. My favorite thing to shop for? Books!

My job, for the past week or so? Nothing but book shopping, baby. Yet another reason I love being a librarian.

Banned Books Week

Intellectual freedom is important. Information should flow freely. Censorship is always lurking around the corner (and no, I'm not being sarcastic).

Now that I've discharged my duties as a card carrying member of the American Library Association, a funny story about banned books week.

Every library I have EVER worked at has done the same display for Banned Books Week: A bunch of books on the ALA's most challenged list surrounded by crime scene tape. It's a pretty cool looking display, if a tad overdone.

So I dutifully gathered up a bunch of books to put on the display this week, only to be told by one of my coworkers (the aforementioned C) that we don't like to draw attention to Banned Books Week at my current library.

Apparently, the last time they did a display of frequently challenged books, they had patrons lodge challenges against half of the books in the display by the end of the week. I sort of didn't believe him, but hey, it saved me looking for crime scene tape- I just put out some "Read Banned Books" bookmarks and called it a day.

One final story...two kids were discussing the bookmarks today:

Kid 1: You can BAN BOOKS??

Kid 2: Sweet. We should ban *insert name of frequently maligned classic work here*, and just watch the movie instead.

Kid 1: Totally! That is such a great idea!

I didn't have the heart to tell them that the movie is nowhere near as good as the book. :-D

Pilot Training, Part IV

Drinking.

The number one thing I wish I'd had a heads up on ahead of time.

The college I attended for my undergrad was fraternity/sorority free, but there was still PLENTY of booze. Trust me. My friends and I drank. A lot. I'd seen keg stands, power hours and just about every other bit of asinine drinking tomfoolery standard to the American college experience.

Then I went out, got a job (I did grad school while working, the beauty of mostly online classes!) and found out that, as I'd often suspected, people in the real world didn't start off the evening by doing shots. Since I had never been a huge fan of the binge drinking I'd encountered in college, it was easy to adjust my expectations to a glass of wine with dinner and cocktails on Friday nights.

Einstein was not a drinker. While he would occasionally drink a beer or have a rum and coke with something, he found my fondness for vodka tonics strange to say the least. (Although my love of peppermint schnapps was easier to understand, apparently!) So when we married, I assumed my life would continue on much as it had in my new grown-up world, with the occasional glass of wine, and a bottle of rum lasting months while gathering dust in my cupboard.

And then we arrived at pilot training.

I will spare you the urban legends about various forms of liquor, bar rules and other idiocy I've encountered. Suffice it to say, I have now attended "mandatory fun" parties where people did shots until everyone was absolutely falling down drunk. No event is complete- or even started- without liquor. And I don't just mean a bbq with some cold brewskies. I mean out and out, frat boy, "Animal House" style, shots until you puke drinking.

**Quick note: I have NEVER seen anyone FORCED to drink. I know a lot of people who are non-drinkers are often worried that they will be forced to drink. On the contrary, the people I know who do not drink (mostly for religious reasons) are never given guff about not drinking. They are often in the unenviable position of being sober around a bunch of drunk people, but that's another story...

So yeah. I was surprised, to say the least. I wish I had known ahead of time, not so much because I am anti-drinking, but because it is so central to the culture. It was a huge shock the first time I walked into an Assignment Night and saw the hordes of drunks in flight suits. Also, I should have included WAY more money in our budget for liquor, especially since there are a number of flights in the syllabus where it is customary to buy your Instructor Pilot a bottle of their favorite liquor.

Oooh, and there is definitely a wife=DD frame of mind. I cannot tell you the number of Fridays I have driven back on base with a car full of drunk LTs. The gate guards are usually hugely sympathetic when I fork over a handful of LT ID's with my dependent one. I even get the occasional "good luck Ma'am" when they are being especially rowdy. And Einstein's class is considered to be tame and practically anti-partying, compared to the norm!

But yeah. I now negotiate nights off of DDing, because hey, I'm planning (at some point) to give up drinking entirely for pregnancy and breastfeeding, so I figure I deserve a few nights off of DD duty now!