Workplace politics

There are politics at any workplace. I get that. I've even experienced it before, in other jobs.

But this is the first time that I've found myself at the center of the maelstrom. And I don't like it. I can't even send out a simple email without causing some kind of ridiculous bruhaha. And because I am (as always) the newest, most junior person around, I have to toe the line and mind my elders and blah blah blah.

What is funny is that I actually LIKE everyone I work with. I don't dislike a single person. I know that other people have SEVERE grudges against other people- but it doesn't bother me. I get along with everyone on a personal level. But there is a LOT of backlash to things I start/suggest.

Also, the thing that sucks about libraries vs. the Air Force? The Air Force has a clear command structure. You know if someone is your peer or not. You know who you can vent to, who you have to be respectful of, etc. Even though Einstein is sometimes in a weird place with relating to people (I think it happens to everyone from time to time) for the most part he knows where he stands.

I never know where I stand with people.

But I do love my job. :-D

How much do you share at work?

A friend recently shared with me that her coworkers had been horrified to find out (through a conversation with another spouse who happened to run into her while out at lunch with said coworkers) that her husband was deployed.

She hadn't said a word. Around here, where deployments are short but grindingly frequent, people rarely do. It's certainly not something I would share with my coworkers, much as I like them. Living in another community, with a long commute to work, makes it a little easier for me to separate the two "parts" of my life, so I don't worry too much about my coworkers "finding out" by my friend's dilemma made me think...

Were her coworkers justified in their hurt? Should she have confided in them? Would my coworkers be upset in a similar circumstance? Should I at least be telling my boss, or someone at work? For safety reasons, if nothing else?

It also made me think about what I call military voyeurism, for lack of a better term. I don't want sympathy, special treatment or sighs. In this community, there is plenty of support from other spouses, etc- my friend didn't need support, and definitely didn't want to deal with sighing, clucking or questions she can't answer, so she didn't say anything to her coworkers. Now she has two coworkers who are angry at her (I have been trying to figure out their logic, but not having a middle school mentality is hurting me on this one!).

I'm not planning to change my own plans and methods, but the situation did make me think.

Appreciation

My job has combined with Einstein's unpredictable schedule to make our time together even more scarce than usual. So when he unexpectedly got a one day pass to take leave (leave is very scarce on the ground around these parts!), we wanted to take advantage.

I aggressively cleared my calendar for our midweek day off. There was a training going on I needed to attend? Sorry, I'm out that day. My boss needed a meeting with me? Sorry, I was taking a vacation day- it was on the calendar! Oh, wait, we need someone to take care of prep for an orientation group! Someone else will have to take care of it.

We were going to have a day all to ourselves. In the middle of the week. No errands, no chores, no mandatory fun to attend, no parties with other people, no nothing. Just the two of us.

And then, the inevitable call: "Honey, I'm really, really sorry...there was a blah blah blah blah blah and it looks like the only way to fix it is for me to work on that day." I was sad, and angry, and frustrated and all of the other things you would expect- but I felt bad for him, since he was clearly miserable about. I asked (without any real hope) if there was any way around it, explaining that I had spent the past week or so putting things off, packing other days with back to back meetings, and generally pushing things aside to make room for our little one day vacation. But, I said, I understood. I tried in vain to find another day on my calendar that would work, but since I had worked so hard to clear that day, I was booked solid for the next 2 weeks.

And then, lo and behold, wonder of wonders: the scheduler made it work. We are got our day together, thanks to the ingenuity of the scheduler, Einstein's persistence and the genuine human kindness of all involved.

So I want to express my appreciation to all involved. I'm especially grateful for people who, instead of going with the suck it up mentality that I see so often, really make an effort to make things as bearable as possible. In a squadron where people are gone as much or more than they are home, the people (and their actions) make all the difference!

Book 4: Grave Peril by Jim Butcher and Wrap up post

I received the first three books in the Harry Dresden series from a friend for Christmas.

It's taken me until June to finish them, which should tell you something about how much reading I've been doing, lately.

Grave Peril by Jim Butcher was definitely my favorite of the Harry Dresden novels thus far. I'm excited to pick up number four.

What do I like about the series?

I love Harry. He's funny, he's nowhere near perfect, he's a gentleman. I also love Bob, his talking skull/spirit personal assistant. The books are realistic fantasy, which is my favorite type. The supernatural is part of the real world, in these books, and that makes it easier for me to enjoy the storyline. I love characters, and Harry is a character and a half. Literally, by the end of this book, but I'll let you read it to find out.

Also, I rarely let myself be drawn into a non-finite series; I've been burned before (Tom Clancy. David Weber.). I don't like it when books start stretching out, getting too involved- if you have to put a character list and a synopsis in the front, I'm not interested. I like the Harry Dresden novels because they stand alone, but build on each other, as well.

As I'm writing this, I have mere minutes left in the 48 Hour Book Challenge. I should mention that although I haven't finished it, yet, I did read 10 of the 13 books of Saint Augustine's Confessions which I've been meaning to start since February.

My totals are as follows:

Reading: 20.5 hours
Blogging: 1.5 hours
Social media: 2 hours
Books Read: 4.75

Wow! My secret goal was 24 hours, and even with a huge break for Mass and brunch today, I still met my goal when everything is all totaled up! I still wish that I had managed to read for 24 hours, but there is always next year!

Participating also reminded me that I do need to take the time to be an introvert every once in awhile- to say no to going out so that I can stay home and read.

Book 3: Truesight by David Stahler Jr

Despite my earlier assertion that my goal was to whittle down my to-be-read list, I decided that the books I had were too slow moving and I needed some YA fiction to read. Mostly, I was jealous after reading some of the tweets and posts by other participants, and wanted some YA goodness of my own.

Unfortunately, my local library has a really weak YA section, and none of the books on my TBR list were in (which is why they are still on my TBR list, I guess). I did find Will Grayson Will Grayson which wasn't on my list, but only because I'd forgotten to put it there. I'm saving it for later, though, and started reading again with Truesight by David Stahler Jr.

I picked it off the shelf based solely on its cover, and the fact that I had enjoyed Stahler's Doppleganger. At the beginning, this book felt a little too much like The Giver; a thirteen year old awaiting his life assignment in a supposedly utopian dystopia. Jacob is an interesting character in his own right, though, and despite the alliterative name, I didn't have a hard time distinguishing him from Jonas. Jacob is much less naive, and in Delaney, he has someone his own age to reinforce that fault lines in his community that he has already sensed.

There are overtones of cult-ishness to the civilization, and the Truesight doctrine is deliciously creepy.

That said, I wish I had known it was part of a trilogy before picking it up. I was frustrated with how slowly the story moved, feeling that there was no way for the story to resolve in the number of pages that I had left. And, of course, it didn't resolve itself, because there are two more books to read. I'm not sure if I'll seek them out- they weren't on the shelf at the library, and honestly, although I want to know what happened to Delaney, and I enjoyed Jacob, the world didn't pull me in enough for me to put in an ILL request.

Reading: 9.25 hours
Blogging: 1.25 hours
Tweeting/reading: 1 hour

Book 2: Tales of the Alhambra by Washington Irving

I picked up my copy of Tales of the Alhambra by Washington Irving while visiting Granada, and started reading it while I was actually at the Alhambra. I put it down again when I returned home, and it feels good to finish it- and it made for a nice little reminder of my own travels, as well.

I'd previously only read The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and I have to say that I enjoyed Tales of the Alhambra much more. Irving's tall tales are artfully woven with the point of view of an American traveler in Spain, and I can say easily that some of those observations still ring true nearly 200 years later. I also enjoyed the footnotes, which were in Spanish and highly amusing.

My hours count stands as follows:

Reading: 6.25 hours
Blogging: 1 hour
Tweeting/blog reading: .5 hours

I read The Confessions by Saint Augustine for awhile last night, but reading that is slow going, which is what made me reach for short stories this morning. Our local public library is open right now (the only time their hours and my hours at home coincide all week!) so I am thinking of heading over there to browse a bit. I have a lot of things to read here at the house, but they are all sort of slow reads, and I think I need some quick wins to stay inspired.

Book 1: An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor

After just over one hour of reading, I've finished my first book of the 48-hour book challenge:

An Altar in the World: A geography of faith by Barbara Brown Taylor

I'm sure I saw it recommended somewhere, but I don't remember where. I put books in a TBR list, and I don't always put down where they are rec'd from. I'm glad I jotted this one down, though.

Taylor, a former Episcopalian priest, gives the book a subtitle that might be slightly misleading to the average reader. By calling it a "geography of faith" she sets an expectation of a sampling of world religions, but as she unapolagetically explains in the first few chapters, while she has definitely gathered practices from other faiths, and knows enough about them to identify commonalities and departure points, this book is essentially based in Christian though and practice.

While it wasn't what I expected, her space-rather-than-map-centered-geography was an excellent read. Each of the twelve chapters focused on a particular practice or idea that would help people base their spiritual lives not in some ephemeral otherworld, but in the concrete, hands-on actions and interactions of daily life.

I enjoyed it a lot, and I'm already thinking of which friends I want to pass it along to.

48 Hour Book Challenge

Although I've been outside of the Kidlitosphere for about 6 months since I've crossed over to the dark side and become an academic librarian, I've wanted to participate in Mother Reader's 48 Hour Book challenge for a couple of years now, but since we were PCSing during last year's and I was up to my neck in work the year before, I haven't been able to...but this year it is ON!






So! My TBR pile is mostly regular fiction and non-fiction; I no longer receive ARC's of kids or YA books- I don't really get ARC's at all, anymore, which is one of the things that really sucks about being an academic librarian. I don't have a goal in mind for either hours or books; I just want to shrink my to be read list a little bit. I've been doing a lot lately, and my introvert side needs some nurturing, and it seems like this will be a great weekend to sit around and read.

I'm nearly done with An Altar in the World: A geography of faith by Barbara Brown Taylor, so I am going to curl up in my favorite chair and get cracking.

I will be tweeting throughout the 48 hrs at twitter.com/nomadlibrarian

Thoughts on the military and the idea of work/life balance

I found a new blog yesterday, and have been eagerly reading some of her very thoughtful posts. While many have been bookmarked for later reference, and nearly all have made me think, one in particular has prompted me to think about how the military interacts with mine and my husband's true vocation, marriage.

Her post discusses a strange but true fact of career planning in mainstream America, that:

"The notion of consider the kind of daily life you would like to lead is absent from professional career planning as any of us experienced it. Not in college, not in high school, not back in grade school when we were drawing pictures of What We Will Be When We Grow Up. Sure, there's advice to consider the kind of work you want to do. But the notion of choosing a career path that is well-matched to the kind of life you want to lead outside work is completely foreign."

This has been an issue of some contention for Einstein and I from the very start. I, after all, longed for us to have careers that made family life the center of our lives, as it was for both our families growing up. Einstein, while aware that the military was in many ways incompatible with that vision, felt truly called to his profession, and both of us made what we felt was a mature, well-informed decision that he should stay in the military, that we should marry, and that he should plan on a full 20 year military career*. We had long discussions about the military, about moving around the country, about the moral doctrines of just war and the effects that the lifestyle would have on any sort of academic or library career that I would want to have. We discussed the effects on our future children of frequent moves, being far from family, etc. We have had a series of similar discussions at two other points since then: when he decided to be a pilot, rather than an engineer and when we had to submit his "dream sheet" of aircraft choices.

What we did not discuss, at all, was what our daily life would look like. Mostly, that was because we had no clue. Daily life in the military (at least in my experience) fluctuates so much dependent upon job, base, leadership, and a billion other factors as to be indescribable. Einstein's Air Force uncles and their wives did their best to prepare us, but neither of us had the slightest idea of what we were getting into.

I am not talking about deployments. Einstein entered the Air Force post-9/11. We both understood that deployments were a foregone conclusion. I am talking about the when-he-is-home time. I had no idea that his schedule would be so varied, so unpredictable, so dependent on weather and mechanical breakdowns and the often seemingly insane whims of leadership. No one told me about long hours spent at work studying material in the vault. Everyone focuses on moving and deployment, but no one that talked to me (and I talked to a LOT of people) thought to discuss the long, unpredictable hours, the lack of weekends and ability to take sick leave to care for a child and a million other little details that pervade daily life in the military.

As we constantly evaluate our disposition toward having children, Einstein and I have come to the uncomfortable realization that while we feel equipped to deal with the moves and being far from family, the daily grind of military life and deployments make us feel that our daily life isn't really suited to children. I am not saying that we will continue to try to avoid pregnancy; not at all! After all, our first commitment is to God and to each other, and that commitment includes the promise of children. But if we could go back in time, would we choose this life? Maybe not. At this point, though, we are committed* and so we try to find ways to make our daily life work as we want it with the circumstances we find ourselves in. And in that, I don't think we are that different from any family, military or not.

*I don't know if Einstein will stay in the full 20. With his commitment after pilot training (10 years) plus his time in service before pilot training, he will be near enough to his 20 by the time he can get out to make it a pretty ridiculous idea...but you never know.

NOTE: This is not meant to be a "Oh civilians have it so easy" post. I'm just trying to get some thoughts of my own out and see if I can make better sense of it by writing it out.

And then I found a new job

I haven't posted in almost two months because I got a new job.

Not only did I get a new job, but I crossed over to the dark side.

I am now working in an academic library. And I love it. I mean, really really really love it. I thought I would miss working with little kids. I thought I would miss all of the funny stories. I thought I would miss a lot of things. But I don't!

So I have been busy loving my new job. And Einstein and I have been getting used to a very new dynamic: I am working as much or more than he is. Between my commute time (around 2 hrs per day) and the fact that I have been working way more than 40 hrs a week while trying to get my head above water, things have shifted in our house. He is home by himself a lot. He is doing all of the grocery shopping (and doing a great job, I might add!).

Things are settled down a little now, though, so I just want to say that I have lots of ideas for posts, and I really am planning to write them. Soon.

Violent movies

Does anyone else have a hard time watching military movies? I can't watch military movies. Or really any violent movies. I do okay with unrealistic movies ("Stealth", anyone?) but anything that is remotely realistic, I just can't watch.

Which is unfortunate, since realistic, violent, military themed movies are some of Einstein's favorites. But I can't even be in the same room if one is on.

I also get sick of making excuses for why I don't want to watch things, whether we are over at someone's house or trying to pick a movie to go see in the theater. I just can't handle it. If I do end up watching something, I have nightmares for a week or so afterwards.

I don't really think I'm missing out on much by not watching violent movies...but my dislike of them coupled with his dislike of chick flicks really limits are movie viewing abilities.

I wish I worked here...

People always say this to me (meaning they want to work at the public library) and they always finish the sentence with "it is so quiet!".

The next time someone says that to me, I am laughing in their face.

Today, we called the cops once every hour for my entire shift. I am not kidding. The top 3 incidents (only 3- there were more, but these were the most interesting!):

1) A woman's purse was stolen. After hyperventilating, going into hysterics, yelling at the librarian who suggested she check her car to be sure she hadn't left her purse there, accusing 3 different people of taking it, and filing a police report, the woman went out to her car and found, you guessed it, her purse. (I would like to note that no one was angry with her, just glad she found her purse. We were also amused, I'm not going to lie.)

2) A man stumbles in, knocks over a display of books, He tells us "Hey ladies, how's it going, woops, that's the floor. No no I'm fine, just having a rough day!" Obviously, he was drunk. So after he stumbled to a chair and passed out, we called the cops. Who had to call an ambulance for him, he was that intoxicated. Yep.

3) Another drunk man FELL ASLEEP on the toilet in the man's restroom. I am not making this up. Since all of our male staff members were either at lunch or out sick, I and another librarian went in the bathroom, where we pounded on the stall and yelled to try to wake him up. Since that didn't work, we called the cops (this was the fifth time out of eight for the day!).

So yeah. And people wonder why we say they shouldn't let their kids run around the library alone if they are under 12? Really?

Dinner for one

Quick question:

Would you rather go out to eat by yourself or cook for yourself at home?

I hate cooking for myself. I did it by necessity when I was living by myself and broke. Now? Well, I don't technically live by myself. And we are not technically broke.

But I feel that same loathing rising in my heart, nonetheless. I keep making myself eggs, because that is all I can bring myself to cook. Luckily, our house is inconveniently located to nearly all local restaurants, both sit down and fast food, otherwise I would drop a lot of coin on dinners out. Unfortunately, I can also spend a few hours after work shopping and then head to dinner before driving all the way home. Which is also a lot of coin, but at least I got 2 nice sweaters, some curtains and a few candles out of the deal.

When I do this, I generally go to Buffalo Wild Wings (shut up, I like them). By myself. With a book. Because that is how I roll.

I always sit in the same section (the only one with decent lighting, so I can read my book). I always get the same waitress. And she always calls me honey/sweetie/etc which somehow makes me feel even lamer than being in what is essentially a sports bar reading a book.

But I do love their wings.

Ribbit?

I frequently greet patron's with a cheery "Hi!" followed by one of two questions:

"What can I help you with?"

or

"How are you today?" (this second one is especially appropriate when they have a stack of books ready to check out...I know how I can help them, I don't need to ask!)

Today, I asked a patron how she was, and got this answer:

"I'm finer than a frog's hair split three ways and sifted through silk."

I'm not going to lie, I didn't really know what to make of that response. She said it very very cheerfully, and obviously any such hair would have to be very, very, VERY fine, thus making her very happy. Except...frog's don't even have hair, do they? And if that's the case, then maybe she was trying to say that she was really unhappy?

I honestly don't know.

Einstein's take on eye makeup

I don't wear a lot of eye makeup. I mean, I wear it, but not a ton.

So today I was trying out a new look, in preparation for the squadron Christmas party. It is a "nighttime look" complete with eye makeup that could be termed "dramatic". In other words, its a heck of a lot darker than anything I normally wear.

When I walked out to show Einstein, he was on the phone. He made a face like he was sucking on a lemon and made a flapping gesture around his eyes. I took this to mean he didn't like the look. I went back in the bathroom and messed around some more. After he got off the phone I asked him what he didn't like.

"The eyes are too dark. I don't like it. Well, I guess its not too bad if you stand in the shadows."

Yes, dear, that was kind of the point. After I tried to explain this to him, he came out with this little gem:

"Well, you look like a fourteen year old at the New Moon premiere. Or a second lieutenant wife. Or a cougar. Or something."

Considering that not so long ago, I was a 2LT wife, I'm not really sure how to take that comment. But I am going to go crack open a bottle of makeup remover. And find some other eye makeup for the party.

Note to self

Try to remember that when Einstein is gone, you need to get out of the house and spend time with people.

And no, work doesn't count. It's great and all, but its not exactly restful.

One morning out of the house, and see how much better you feel??

It also helps to do dishes/laundry more than once every two weeks. Just saying.

/note to self

Murphy's law of TDY's strikes again

Maybe its because things just seem worse when he's gone, or maybe it really is Murphy out to get me, but as soon as he's TDY something always breaks, or some emergency crops up or whatever.

The worst part is that I then have to make decisions. I am normally a pretty go-to type of person. I don't mind making decisions.

But I also like talking those decisions over before I make them. With, you know, the person who 1) usually lives here and thus has a pretty good read on the situation; 2) is not prone to hysterics and 3) will be most impacted by any property damage/costs incurred/etc by whatever decision I make.

Unfortunately, I'm in the driver's seat with no one to bounce things off of.

If he doesn't like how things turn out, he can complain to the Air Force.

Variety is the spice of life

After pilot training ended and all of our friends scattered to the four winds, it has been interesting hearing how different life is in the different types of airframes. In the Air Force, each aircraft has its own quirks, but in general the lifestyle tends to be pretty similar for similar aircraft within a type (the "types" being heavies, fighters, bombers, special operations, and unmanned aerial systems).

I'm lucky to have friends in lots of different airframes (airframes is the Air Force's fancy way of saying airplanes), so I get to hear about a lot of different things. It is amazing how different the cultures are. At Einstein's pilot training base, pilots and the flying community were presented as a monolithic institution, but nothing could be further from the truth!

The differences aren't just in deployment length and frequency, either. The amount of institutionalized drinking, the types of mandatory fun, the atmosphere of the spouses groups- its all different. I love hearing stories about super formal spouses meetings at other bases (mostly because I don't have to attend them). I am glad that my husband doesn't have a roll call every single Friday night. I am envious of the exuberant, friendly welcomes that some of my friends have received from their spouses groups.

And mostly, I'm thankful for the chance to see how the rest of the Air Force lives. :-D

Want a library card?

I think everyone should have a library card.

I'll wait a moment for the shocked murmuring to settle down.

Seriously, though, what's better than free entertainment? Most libraries have books, DVD's, audiobooks, tons of online resources and more available to cardholders.

So go get a library card, but be prepared! Most libraries are going to make you show a photo ID and something else (a current utility bill, rental agreement, a piece of mail, car registration) that shows proof of residence. I have never worked at a public library that didn't require this second type of proof of residency.

I am often frustrated when military folks come in with their military IDs and expect that to be enough to get them a library card. Sorry, its not (at least, not at any library I've ever worked at- not saying it might not be elsewhere!). The military folks often get frustrated with me, too. I understand how they feel, and often feel like commiserating- after all, my brown ID card gets me everything else, from groceries to free legal assistance, so why can't it get me a library card?

So save yourself some hassle: get a library card, but be prepared before you get there; you'll save yourself (and the person behind the desk) some frustration.

**Note: if you're setting up a library account at the base library, be prepared with your ID, your sponsor's duty phone number and unit, and other relevant information!**

one thing I love about the air force

My husband is okay with making cookies.I'm not saying Navy/Marines/Army aren't...but...

I know that some branches (our friend T who is Navy) think that the AF is a little out there, but Einstein is making cookies for me right now, which is pretty sweet. And I'm with my sis, and talking about a million things. Seriously, though, I love our new location, and our base, and and and...my baby sister is here, which is better than anything.


nomad.